Skip to content

Weekly Updates 2016



4 September 2016

Dear All,

Turville enjoyed a handsome victory at home on Sunday against (a traditionally strong) Middleton Stoney. Interestingly, Middleton Stoney only travel away from their own home for 2 fixtures every year. Maddeningly, they all arrived before any of the TPCC complement on this occasion. We should give them a key for their next visit?
After winning the toss, Skipper Hunt – conscious of the very real prospect of more rain in the afternoon – quickly decided that he (sorry, Turville Park) would like a bat. After a slow start (13/1 off the first 9 overs) on a damp but quickly drying wicket, TPCC accelerated to an imposing 247/8 off 41 overs. James H was merciless as he ran up an effortless 103. Tom White (remember him?) was equally impressive in compiling his highest score for Turville (39*) in quick order.
Middleton Stoney were never really interested/capable in worrying this total, and they subsided to all out 106. Nick Henry snared 4/37, including one stunning catch from Dave Stockings, charging in from long on like a vast charging thing. Match report attached.
Other notable events from the match
* Sam Halfhead was having a lovely day out – a brisk 29, keeping for the first time for a long time, making a superb take down the leg side in the first over…and then dislocating his shoulder. All down hill from there. Briff generously chaperoned Sam to Royal Berks, and Sam eventually returned for a beer. Which helped dull the pain.
* Nick Henry delivered his now customary GBBO standard afternoon tea. The image of Nick and Ruth exchanging scone recipes is a hard one to process (‘really? Delia uses all those ingredients?! Madness!’). Charles H in an Alice band is no longer such a difficult concept to understand.
* Tom White knows how Brexit will actually work. Just ask him. Apparently it involves dead badgers? I may have misheard…
* slightly at a tangent – Jack Rogers celebrated his 18th birthday on Friday last (I know! he’s only 11, maybe 12, tops, right…?). Congratulations to Jack on this achievement and also on his acceptance at Oxford to read Geography. Thanks to Chris for sharing the leftover keg with us.
Three games to go. Bloody hell, that went quickly (said every 50-something cricket veteran each September). Rob Dickie has next Sunday’s match against Medmenham.
A brief call out to the V&A who you might recall were somewhat tiresome in our match at Stonor in late July. James H (skipper that day) received a rather winning apology from the V&A which included the immortal line ‘if we are to lose, our ambition is to lose gracefully and then fondle the tea lady’. Class act. In fact, if you have an idle moment, do visit the V&A CC website. The match reports (including the account of the Turville match) are really quite elegant and funny.
That’s enough nonsense this week.

29 July 2016

Dear All,

An away match at Stonor took place on Saturday against hosts, the V&A. Interestingly, the V&A Museum has nothing whatsoever to do with the cricket team these days. It turns out that the cricket team is also unassociated with manners or grace, as they won a 35 over limited overs match in a disappointingly ill tempered display. Batting first, V&A were quickly reduced to 28/3 after one of the very best displays of hostile swing bowling I have ever seen at Turville. Skipper Hunt, and our newly installed ‘most valuable Australian’ (sorry, Sandy), Tom Vallance, clean bowled their top three bats, and we were on our way. Sadly,  the constraint of finding 5 different bowlers to deliver 7 overs each was Turville’s downfall. Our bowlers battled valiantly, but one particular bat got lucky, and clubbed six 6’s (TPCC, no sixes) on his way to 90 as V&A ran up 194. Turville was on track at 93/2 with 12 overs to go, but Jamie holed out for 50, and Wade (57) ran out of partners. TPCC 156/8.
Having expected a full day of friendly cricket (11.30am start), Barney was not best pleased that we were forced to endure a 35 over match. His priceless observation (‘but Neil hasn’t picked a one day team’) was beyond ironic (I think) given Neil’s increasingly desperate efforts during the week to raise ANY kind of side. Still, in the pub at 6pm on a lovely Summer’s evening was a small consolation.
If you are in any doubt about upcoming fixtures and Match Managers – check the website!

Miscellaneous nonsense –

1. I have always liked Harold Pinter’s brief elegy to the great Len Hutton –
‘I saw Len Hutton in his prime,
 Another time, another time’
I recently learned however that he had sent it to a playwright friend of his, Simon Gray. When he called his friend the next day to see what he thought, Gray replied ‘I haven’t finished it yet’. Beautiful.
2. A real life Laws challenge from Saturday. The batsman (me, as it happens) advances down the pitch to a medium pacer, but misses the ball. V&A keeper (tosspot, as it happens), standing back, takes a shy at the stumps, misses and the ball rolls some way into the vacant mid on area. Batsman sneak a single. What does the umpire (Tom Vallance, clearly versed in MCC Laws arcana) signal? Bye. Correct, I think, but largely because I can’t think of another plausible entry which Sara can make in the book. Idiot V&A fielders complain that I ‘hadn’t offered a shot’. Only relevant of course if the ball strikes the batsman’s person.
3. Here’s a related challenge I read about in The Graudian. Bowler starts his run in but just before his delivery stride he sees the batsman advancing down the wicket. He doesn’t ‘bowl’ the ball, but rather throws it at the stumps in an effort to effect a run out. He hits the stumps and the batsman is indeed out of his ground. Decision? Out, apparently – although the discussion goes on to suggest that the umpire needs to also signal ‘no-ball’. This is curious. If the ball is regarded as a ‘delivery’ which is illegitimate (ie. a no-ball), how can it not be ‘bowled’ (but not out). I suspect the timing of the event (BEFORE entering the delivery stride) is crucial, but this still doesn’t explain why a ‘no-ball’ is called? HOW CAN MODERN CIVILISATION PROCEED WHILE THIS DEBATE REMAINS UNRESOLVED?!
Away for August. See you in September.

3 July 2016

Dear All,

An excellent match against Flycatchers took place at home on Sunday, with Turville running out winners. The match ebbed and flowed (TPCC recovered from 5/36 to post 177, while Flycatchers tumbled from 1/97 to be all out for 138). The 2 key features were Sam’s patient 75, and James Hunt removing Flycatchers’ #3 who was coasting on 53 at 1/97. Many other noteworthy contributions, including OllieThornton’s 4/20, can be found in the attached Match Report. Charlie Beardall bowled 2 balls, snared 2 wickets, and will be seeking his hat trick at Ibstone this week before heading off on his Mongolian odyssey.
Thanks to James Thornton for once again producing a good day out against capable and friendly oppo. By the way, see James in full flight against Crazies Hill in last Friday’s Henley Standard. Great photo.
Stuff –
1. A real life rules event played out on Sunday. Colin was waiting behind the stumps for a throw from Jamie to effect a run out. Colin prematurely dislodged a bail with his foot. James’ throw was a direct hit, and removed the other bail. Out? Clearly – Law 38. But what if Colin had knocked both bails off prematurely? He would then need to gather the ball, and then pull a stump out of the ground. OR the run out would also stand if Jamie’s throw knocked a stump out of the ground – Law 28.1.
2. Another poser (not real) – Charlie Beardall opens up the batting and is bowled for a golden duck (sorry Charlie). 3 balls later you realise that the fielding side has had 12 players on the field. What to do? Nothing, it would seem. The extra fielder must be removed, but interestingly the laws provide no penalty for this oversight, and Charlie must accept that his average has tumbled from 97 to 93 (*figures approximate*).
3. Misbah has won all sorts of plaudits since returning to the captaincy of Pakistan at age 36 (he is now 42!). In this time, he has captained 42 Tests and won 20 (Imran Khan captained 48 Tests, won 14). More importantly, he has scored 3,344runs at 57. Hope for us all..?
Now 3 short for Sunday. Please help!

26 June 2016

Dear All,

Turville barely raised a sweat in dispatching Crazies Hill on Sunday, and not just because the temperature remains at sub-arctic levels. Electing to bat, the visitors were bundled out for 65 (Runks 4-fer, Jon 3-fer, and James T 2-fer) in 25 overs. Sam, 47* and Nick (Henry. Yes, you read that right, Henry) 13* took just 12 overs to do the business. Game over inside 3 hours. Too early for a drink. Most unsettling.
Next Sunday we have Flycatchers at home (James Thornton) and on 10 July we travel to Ibstone (me). Send emails quickly to reserve a spot.
Other stuff (I’m steering cautiously away from Rugby and the Referendum) –
1. I think I’ve shared some Sangakkara stats with you before, but here’s some final (mind boggling) numbers from his remarkable career –
* in 86 Tests as a specialist batsman, he averaged 66.78 (57.4 in all Tests)
* Sangakkara averaged at least 40 against every team he faced
* he scored 16 hundreds outside Sri Lanka, averaging 54
* weirdly, he never batted in a Test match at the Oval, or in Sydney, Brisbane, Adelaide or Perth
2. Quick Rules challenge – Runkel bowls, batsman’s eyes light up (naturally), batsman advances down wicket but misses ball (inevitably). Barney shapes to make the stumping, but before he can his monocle falls off (artistic licence) and dislodges a bail. Barney removes the other bail and claims the stumping. Out? No, of course not, although bizarrely, the Laws anticipate this situation, and provided Barney replaces the first bail before making the stumping then the dismissal stands. Seems perfectly plausible at Runks pace?
3. Politics (why not? as Adrian Bignell observed on Sunday, we are living in remarkable times where the country can see a Prime Minister resign, but it ranks as only the third most important story on the day). I saw a lovely analysis of the Labour Party resignation letters this week where the prevailing sentiment was summarised as ‘this ship is sinking, and I’m just writing to let you now that I’m taking one of the life boats with me’. Worth a look if you have an idle moment –

18 June 2016

Dear All,

Just the one match last weekend as TPCC hosted West Wycombe on Saturday in chilly but dry conditions. A rather one-sided match was played out as Turville ran up 244/5, and then proceeded to dismiss our guests for 40 (Barney quite reasonably raised the prospect of a follow-on).
Amongst a number of Turville highlights, the stand out moment occurred when, in the second over of Turville’s innings, Jamie Hunt suffered a very healthy leading edge which looped agonisingly in the air in the direction of the square leg fielder. The fielder suffered no agonies whatsoever and completed a very tidy catch. One can only imagine what must have been going through Charlie Hunt’s mind as he clutched on to the catch. Job done? Oh oh, pocket money renegotiation inevitable? Why didn’t the foolish batsman wait on the shot a little longer? When am I ever going to get a bowl? What was Baroness Warsi thinking when she backed Brexit in the first place? Charlie sensibly refuses to say…
Full report attached.
So, to take our minds of unpleasant things (like the Rugby), here’s a brief piece of cricket analysis I spotted a while back for sharing –
“The fourth Test between India and South Africa at Delhi (December 2015), and in particular that gloriously boring fourth innings, in which the South Africans scored 143 runs in 143.1 overs. This was the first time in Test history that a team has scored at under one run an over while batting for 100 overs or more. The South Africans remember had already lost the series, trailing it 2-0 coming into the Test. At the heart of this rearguard, two glacial innings from two of the world’s greatest batsmen, AB de Villiers and Hashim Amla. De Villers made 43 from 297 balls. No one has ever faced more balls for fewer runs. Amla’s contribution: 25 from 244. In this list of most balls faced to score fewer than fifty, they now sit first and third, split by Bangladesh’s Javed Omar.

This is the very same De Villiers, of course, who cracked a century off of 31 balls in a one-day international against West Indies at the start of the year. An innings altogether more in keeping with the age. The innings at Delhi, then, felt like something of a throwback, since Test match batting is becoming more skittish. So far during this decade, Test batsmen are collectively scoring more runs per six balls, 3.22, than they have in any other in the game’s history. The bowlers’ economy rates are, likewise, higher than they have ever been, at 3.11, but at the same time their strike rates are lower, at 65, than they have been at any time since the 1910s. Upshot of all that is, batsmen are scoring more quickly, and getting out more frequently, than they have ever done. The slow, steadfast, play on display in Delhi, so characteristic of Test cricket, is becoming rarer.”


Crazies Hill this week on Sunday at home under the stewardship of Paul de Zulueta, followed by Flycatchers at home on 3 July (James Thornton) and Ibstone away on 10 July (Tim Wade). I urge you to get your names down now.

Forgive me, two other highlights – post-match drinks on Saturday at The Chequers Inn in Fingest – hooray! And a warm welcome to Dom Markham (a chum of Sam’s) who bats and bowls with aplomb, and can sledge with the best of them (he asked me if I knew the England/Australia rugby score – while we were batting together!).




5 June 2016

Turville had one of its best bowling performances of the year against a very strong Nomads side on Saturday. Unfortunately we came up a little short when it came to batting!
On a damp wicket, Tom White and Henry Steadman kept things tight. Mia Rogers made a very low catch at backward point look very easy off Tom to dismiss their dangerous opener. Steady wickets from Henry (who ended with a superb “5 for”) who lead the attack at the other end made meant Turville were looking good. The Nomads batted down to nine (their skipper who got 130* last year came in at 8) and Nick Henry and Chris Rogers both bowled very tightly to frustrate the Nomads who were eventually dismissed for 126.
Henry S and Mia opened the batting and played well against one of the better opening attacks we face. Mia defending well and anything wide was sweetly timed through  the covers. Henry was brutal on anything short and topped scored. Both fell to fast leg stump yorkers from the Nomad’s opener who at one point had all seven wickets and was looking like he may get all 10! Nick Henry, coming in at 6, was second highest scorer but Turville fell well short at 69 all out. Debutants Harry and Ed Bush both offered some good resistance at the end (younger brother running out older brother!) but the Nomad’s star opener ended up with 8 for and was just too good!
On Saturday we have our annual BBQ against the Invalids and then Stonor on Sunday so please sign up!
Jon Hancock

15 May 2016

Dear All,

 Saturday’s fixture against Henley Astros sadly failed to take place due to lack of interest. Sunday’s fixture against Britwell Salome failed completely due to lack of, um, talent…
Match Report attached for those who relish horror stories. Neil Runkel’s 3/16 off 9 overs does at least merit a notable mention.
This weekend sees us with a chance to redeem ourselves, once again at home, this time against Checkendon. please contact me if you’d like to play.
So, to other items of interest –
1. The T20 World Cup produced some fascinating stats, for example – just 9 maidens bowled in the whole tournament; number of T20 sixes hit in Carlos Braithwaites pre-tournament career? 0; Number of Tosses won by Darren Sammy? 10/10; number of Chris Gayle 6’s? 11 – all struck against England in the first game.
2. Now, some Football stats – comparing the top 5 European Leagues, Leicester City scored the least number of goals 68 (Barcelona #1 with 112); conceded the most goals (36); won the least number of points with 81 (PSG 96, Barca 91, Juventus 91, Bayern 88); and enjoyed the lowest possession with 42% (Bayern 71%, Barca 67%, PSG 67%, Juventus 56%). In case you missed it, Suarez netted 40 times in La Liga. He also topped the Assists table, with 16. Bloody hell!
See you at Home this Sunday for Ruth’s tea (that’s the only reason I’m going).

8 May 2016

A vague match report this week as (i) Tim isn’t writing it and (ii) I don’t have the scorebook with me and my memory struggles beyond a two day window…

But remarkably Turville did win despite loosing the toss, being asked to bat first and at one point having just 7 fielders! That means we’ve started the summer with three wins out of four and an unbeaten home record.
We made just over two hundred, despite a number of run outs and a stumping, thanks mostly to a powerful 50 from Dave and contributions from James and Pete. Greys Greens showed their usual desire to spread the attack around, with just two bowlers used – each bowling more than 20 overs unchanged from each end.
One (cricketing) incident saw Colin take a ball to the eye before being driven to Henley A&E(?) to be super glued back together – we hope you’re recovering well Colin?
Greys Green came out to bat second and set about blocking over after over for as long as it might take to call the game a draw. Fortunately Nick (5 for not very many) and Henry (2 for some and beating the bat ball after ball when I dare say better batsmen would have been able to get a thin edge to it) had other plans before Charlie Hunt picked up the final wicket to continue our good run of form (and Charlie’s happy habit of winning games for us this summer).
Finally… Rather than Tim’s Trivia, I’m asking for help as we need to backdate some trophies from the last few years. Who remembers match winning contributions from 2011 onwards… I think I’ve narrowed it down to:
2011: Ollie Thornton’s 77* and 5 for 10 or James Hunt’s 127 when chasing 198
2012: Jon Hancock’s 5 for 35 and then 45* when chasing 129 (versus Stonor) or Tom’s 8 for 4 against Ibstone
2013: Ollie Thornton’s 110* when chasing 168 or my 45 and 5 for 22
2014: James Hunt’s 101* when chasing Stonor’s 136
2015: Charlie Beardall’s 121 of 185 or James Hunt’s 7 for 36
Please vote(?) for the one you think or let me know if I have missed any performance you think should be considered for the trophy. There is a separate trophy for best bowling figures and highest batting score if that impacts your thoughts?
See you soon,

1 May 2016

Dear All,

A solid win for TPCC at home on Sunday in its first (UK based) outing for the season.

Visitors White Waltham batted first (Sam wisely never discloses if he won the toss or not – Neil will always give him grief for whatever decision he might make). Brisk conditions and a variable wicket made scoring difficult, so White Waltham could have been well pleased with their 148 (off 42 trying overs). The innings was built around a patient 50 from opener Molloy, but he and his team mates struggled to get on top of Nick Henry (3/23), Neil Runkel (2/39) and finally Jon Hancock, who snared 3 wickets for just 4 runs in his 6 overs.


In reply, Turville were looking shaky at 5/59, with some big guns back in the shed. A 65 run partnership between Henry Steedman (30) and the irrepressible Jon Hancock (45) put paid to White Waltham’s ambitions, and Turville cruised home – Charlie Hunt doing the necessary and bludgeoning the winning runs.

Greys at home this weekend (in Mediterranean conditions?!).

Some fun facts –

  1. An Australian (Mark Schwarzer) now has back to back Premier League titles (reserve keeper at Chelsea last year, and the Foxes this year). Naturally, no Englishman can claim this achievement.
  1. Shivnarine Chanderpaul retired this year. A remarkable player. Four times he went 1,000 minutes between consecutive Test dismissals. He was the only man to do that. In 2002 he batted, undefeated, for 25 hours spread across three innings against India. In 2007, 17 hours in three innings against England. In 2008, 18 hours in three innings against Australia. Chanderpaul isn’t only the last link to the great West Indians but the final member, too, of a generation of batsmen, a contemporary of each and every one of Test cricket’s top 10 run-scorers.



16/17 April 2016

Dear All,

I’m pleased to be able to share with you the first Match Reports for season 2016. It means that Turville Park is up and running for another action packed year.

And the action could scarcely have been more packed than we saw on our Tour to Ibiza (that still feels a weird thing to write). Cricket in the Balearics. In April. In the Med. Drinking cerveza and eating tapas. Not very Home Counties it has to be said.
Ollie has already produced a colourful piece on the weekend (first class), so I will stick (mostly) to the cricket. In short, played 2, won 1 (the first win on tour incidentally for 6 years according to the skipper), lost 1.
Saturday saw a predictably shabby looking TPCC contingent arrive at the National Football Stadium roughly on time. Minor delays followed as some of our number struggled to negotiate their way out of the car park, having dropped several things (like their breakfast). To be fair, Jamie Hunt had already flagged up the state of the touring party after a heavy night out with a one word text on the Group Whattsapp feed at 9.51am. It simply said – ‘Bat’.
The skipper failed Jamie on this occasion, and Turville took the field. After 30 overs, the oppo rattled up 220 (bugger, really?!). On the other hand, TPCC had employed 8 different bowlers, with James Thornton the pick, snaring 2 wickets. We did take some time to get the hang of the artificial wicket, and square boundaries that you could reach out and touch from first slip, but this was obviously a decent total.
In reply, TPCC made a valiant effort, reaching 196 thanks largely to a stellar knock from Jamie (97), and a lovely 57* from the skipper. Colin Simon went out swinging with a strike rate of 300 (6, Out!). Overall, a creditable performance.
Sunday presented equally lovely conditions (low-mid 20’s with a light breeze off the sea) and Jamie had his wish as TPCC was inserted. Colin Simon took up where he left off and careered to 37 (he’d clearly been studying Carlos Braithwaite – oh sorry, I didn’t intend to bring that up so soon…). With 27 from Dave Stockings and 20 from Ollie, we were nevertheless struggling at 122/9 when Sam stepped in to bash another sublime 40* (2016 batting average, sorted) and we finished with 163, which still felt a wee bit modest.
Not at all. Nick Henry 3/21, Paul Girdler 3/9 and the inimitable Neil Runkel 4/13 delivered a very early close as Ibiza collapsed for a paltry 63. As this was the ‘Cup’ match (so we reckoned, anyway), TPCC owns bragging rights across the Balearics (and possibly the Canaries too, who knows?).
Thanks to Peter Briffett for all the hard work in putting this together. It was huge fun. Thanks also to Sara for scoring.
I write this as the rain falls incessantly, the threat of snow is real, and our first match is cancelled.
%d bloggers like this: